The Person You Were…

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I can’t remember where I heard it but it went something like this.  If you can go back to the person you were before your first heart-break, who would you be?  I’m sure I destroyed it but that is the way I choose to recall it. Anyways, when I heard that question I instantly had that light bulb moment.  My first heart break was from a broken-hearted father.  In my I was in my late 30’s and I couldn’t answer that question because what 12-year-old knows who she is.  I am a very analytical person so that started me down a road of trying to understand not only myself but also why a man who I adored didn’t know how to love me.  Now this isn’t going to be some sob story about how daddy didn’t love so I blah, blah, blah.  The truth is five years ago it might have been but the person I am today chose a different road.  Sometime I think we choose to be victims instead of understanding the we are all human and we make mistakes.  My father at the time was going through his own issues and even though he did not handle things the best way he is not a bad person.  What he is imperfect just like everyone else.  He is not the villain in my story-my villain was me.

There are so many things that happen in life and we have to see the best and the purpose of everything in life.  For many years I made my own hell but through grace and experience I was able to change my perspective.  Honestly, I think it was seeing the mask of anger, resentment and bitterness on someone I truly loved.  I realized we were wearing the same mask and on that day I made a choice to change.  I would say I wish I had done it a long time ago but I needed all my experience and all my pain to give me my new mindset.  So…with that being said all you may see on this blog is not coming from a girl with her head in the clouds who has seen no pain but from a woman who has made a choice to be happy!!!

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